Toxic
by Raven Sage
Summary: After Janeway comes back from an away mission furious disagreements with herself and many of the crew’s members sprout. Will The Chakotay and the others discover what’s wrong with her in enough time or will the rest of the crew have to stage mutiny?
1. Courage

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all. We are their slaves. Bow down to the mighty corporation. I shall forever watch your TV channels your TV shows I watch your movies I visit your amusement parks. I am forever your slave. Everything I write of is yours all mighty one except for the story. I bow for I need not money o' Mighty one for doing what I love even if it sucks. I bow on last time hoping to leave you in peace. AMEN.  
  
Plot: A fights erupt between Janeway and her crew. While Chakotay tries to find out why, some pretty interesting stuff happens on the ship.  
  
If you have any Character flames tell me know and I can ruff it out on an unsuspecting person while Kathryn's on her rampage.  
  
A/N: Hey ever seen Rosemary's baby? Well neither have I but the story can be related to it in a way I think. Not copy write  
  
(Because its bad un original and against the law my fellow readers ahem, ahem.)  
  
but the same kind of story "family". LOL I'm not going to give all away am I?  
  
I might use a line or two from a song I like. I already used one.  
  
* You should try not to be so courageous *  
  
Song: Courage  
  
Artist: Alien Ant Farm  
  
Album: ANThology  
  
  
  
(I can't spell so excuse my misspellings please politely correct me don't flame me. If you're sfcmdhq don't bother Review if you're going to be rude other wise be my guest.)  
  
  
  
This story takes place in the 5th season not like it matters  
  
  
  
"What were you thinking, you could have been killed."  
  
"I was thinking about my crew. I wasn't going to leave any of them behind."  
  
"You can't play games like that, one of these days death is going to catch up with you. Your crew needs you. You can't just go off and do things like that. That's why you have others in you command. It's their job to do that for you. Without you this ship and its crew are stuck between a rock and a hard place"  
  
"And your point is?"  
  
"You should try not to be so courageous." Chakotay said loudly. Janeway started to yell.  
  
"What do you expect me to be? I try to do the best I can for this crew and still its not enough. What do you want from me, all of you?" Kathryn threw her hands up in the air and continued.  
  
"I'm the best Captain I can be and if you have a problem with that then transfer." The Captain got a surprised look on her face.  
  
"Oh, excuse me if I've forgotten that we're in the middle of delta quadrant with no real hope of getting home." Chakotay looked at her with a disappointed look. If she had given up hope on the Alpha quadrant then she had probably lost hope on anything hard to come..  
  
"Oh please Chakotay don't look hurt, we both know it. Besides it was you who first told me it was impossible." Kathryn looked out the window with her left hand on her hip. Kathryn threw her head back and started to laugh.  
  
"I actually believed it Chakotay, for five years I believed it. But now optimism is at an all time low." Chakotay approached her.  
  
"Why is optimism at an all time low?"  
  
"Too many reasons."  
  
"Is there something I can do to help?"  
  
"No, so don't bother." The anger in her voice could of cut through the hull. Chakotay and the Captain stood there for a few minutes before the bitter silence was interrupted  
  
"Paris to Chakotay"  
  
"Chakotay here."  
  
"Commander" the Lieutenant said with a hint of concern in his voice.  
  
"Yes Lieutenant?"  
  
"Is… is everything in there all right? The yelling stopped so we were a bit concerned"  
  
"Everything's fine Lieutenant it's just a misunderstanding." But the Lieutenant wasn't satisfied.  
  
"Captain." The Captain's voice lowered to its normal volume.  
  
"Yes, Lieutenant it was just a misunderstanding."  
  
"Aye Ma'am." The Comm. link was then severed  
  
"We'll finish this later Chakotay. You're dismissed." But Chakotay decided to push the envelope.  
  
"Kathryn," Janeway shot an evil look at him.  
  
"At this moment I do believe that we are not on a first name basis. And I do believe I said dismissed."  
  
"Captain"  
  
"Dismissed!" Chakotay gave up. Maybe it was the wrong time to talk with her anyway. She still had to visit sickbay for her away team check in.  
  
"Aye Ma'am." Chakotay turned around and headed out of her Ready room.  
  
"Besides" Chakotay added  
  
"I wouldn't want misery to have any company." The door opened and then shut behind him. Janeway was tired and wasn't in the mood to call after the insubordinate Commander 


	2. Congratulations

A/N: It hasn't progressed enough for the story to get all supernatural and stuff so just give it a few chapters! Please excuse my spelling and stuff I was/I am on my way out.  
  
Chakotay started to worry. Kathryn had not returned from her trip to sickbay. One of his favorite things to do was to worry about her and since they had became involved he started to do it obsessively.  
  
"Chakotay to Janeway." There was no answer.  
  
"Chakotay to Janeway." Still there was no response. Chakotay decided to try the doctor. Maybe he could suggest a place to start looking. Chakotay leaned back in his chair. He then tapped on his Comm. The doctor appeared on the screen looking furious.  
  
"Commander please excuse me for a second I am currently having a disagreement with one of my patients." The Commander nodded his head in understanding.  
  
"Kathryn?" The doctor's face said it all. There was no real reason for a response and Chakotay didn't get one.  
  
"Commander would you … mind?"  
  
"Not at all doctor, not at all in fact I have to head down there anyway. I need to catch her up on some things anyway."  
  
"I appreciate it Commander. Captain for the fifth time please lay down, I can't conduct a full scan if you don't lie down." Chakotay chuckled it was an often occurrence on this ship.  
  
"Chakotay out." Chakotay got up from his seat and walked out of his office. He walked on to the bridge.  
  
"Tuvok, you have the bridge."  
  
"Aye sir" the Vulcan stood and took his new seat in the Captains' chair. Chakotay took off in the turbo lift. It only took a few minutes for the Commander to end up at sickbay. Chakotay wished that he had come at a later time because what ever he was walking in on was going to get violent.  
  
"Captain I really think that…"  
  
"I am aware of what you are suggesting Doctor but I will address this problem at a later time."  
  
"Your going to have to mention it to him sometime soon."  
  
"Later…"  
  
"Ah Commander Chakotay, just the man you've been wanting to see." Chakotay steeped to Kathryn's side.  
  
"Is there something that you wanted to tell me?" Kathryn looked up and smiled.  
  
"Actually I was just on my way out and I wanted to inform you that I haven't been feeling well today and I will be taking the day off. Will that be okay with you?" Chakotay looked shocked. Kathryn a day off? Never!  
  
"No, not at all. I'll stop by your quarters later if you'd like."  
  
"No" she mumbled  
  
"I'll be fine." Janeway then pushed past Chakotay and disappeared in to the corridor. The doctor waited for the doors to close.  
  
"She's really done it this time!"  
  
"What is it Doctor." Chakotay asked. The doctor sighed.  
  
"I do believe that I can break confidentiality to her first office if it involves her health."  
  
"Please continue Doctor."  
  
"She was the last in for the away team's examination. The rest of the away team had been through and diagnosed healthy. When I scanned her I had found something strange. I assumed the tri-corder was broken so I tried another one. Still the same diagnoses showed up. I even had the computer scan her and I do believe as strange as this may seem that it is true." Chakotay smiled.  
  
"Well Doctor spit it out." The doctor looked hesitant.  
  
"It's not that easy."  
  
"Is there something wrong with her?" The doctor shook his head.  
  
"It's something perfectly normal."  
  
"Then it shouldn't be that hard to say."  
  
"If you insist."  
  
"And Doctor please don't beat around the bush."  
  
"Commander Chakotay… Congratulations you're going to be a father." Chakotay stood there motionless and let a few thoughts come and go. The doctor waved his hand in front of Chakotay's eyes. There was no physical response form him.  
  
"Commander!" Chakotay woke from his dream.  
  
"I'm here Doctor." The Doctor rolled his eyes.  
  
"I'm glad to know that." Chakotay sighed. Chakotay spoke.  
  
"No wonder she's been acting weird ever since the away mission." The doctor frowned.  
  
"I'm sorry to say Commander that this has nothing to due with her current mood swings. That period in her pregnancy is months away." Chakotay nodded.  
  
"But what would explain her current actions?"  
  
"Actually I was just about to ask you about that."  
  
"Ask away."  
  
"How long has this been a problem, I would think that you would know." Chakotay gulped, he had to admit that it wasn't the Doctor's fault.  
  
"It wasn't a problem until she came back today, the day before she seemed normal."  
  
"How long has it been since you and the captain have had…" The doctor cleared his throat and continued.  
  
"Physical contact." The Commander blushed. In a few seconds his whole body turned red with embarrassment.  
  
"Um… a… I'd have to say." The doctor started to get impatient.  
  
"Commander, lets be blunt we have already established the fact that you understand my question, maybe all too well but none the less we wouldn't be having this conversation if you didn't. Now, I already know one date. You could tell me the rest or we could do it the hard way and in order to do that the Captain would have to come in and to be quite honest I don't think that she'd enjoy it." The Commander stood there without speaking. In an effort to get the Commander to speak the doctor attempted to activate his combadge.  
  
"No, no, no doctor that won't be necessary."  
  
"Well then Commander, how long."  
  
"Can we please step away from the door."  
  
"If you'd really think it would help." The two stepped into the Doctor's office.  
  
"Commander how long has this been going on?"  
  
"Year or so, but to be honest it was a few years in the making. "  
  
"Oh I see." The doctor did agree that they had eyes for each others for years but none of them would ever admit it but would they? The doctor sighed, someone must of said something.  
  
"And how long has the relationship been … physical?"  
  
" Five months, maybe four?" The doctor smirked. It was a wonder that the crew didn't know. Something's can be obvious can't they?  
  
"How long has it been since you've perused contact."  
  
"I … I tried a week ago but ah… she's been busy."  
  
"Oh ah I understand." The Commander rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
"Well Commander I would like to scan you a to…"  
  
"You want to make sure she hasn't contracted anything from me."  
  
"Yes, I doubt it but it's just a precaution." The Commander nodded his head.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Any bed of your choice just have a seat and I'll be with you in a minute." The doctor sat at his computer. He then updated the Captain's medical file. The doctor then quickly exited out of the program and returned to the main part of the sickbay. The doctor scanned the Commander looking for something in particular. Chakotay watched the emotions. The doctor frowned.  
  
"Find something you didn't like Doc?" The commander asked with a hint of urgency.  
  
"I haven't found anything wrong with you, in fact Commander your exceptionally healthy."  
  
"Well Doc what can I say."  
  
"Well what ever she's contracted I must of happened during her away mission. I'll have to check in to that later, but as of now I'd say your free to go." The Commander hopped of the Bio-bed and started out the door. The Commander had a bright-eyed cheery look on his face. He had to say that he was extremely proud of himself. 


	3. Kathryn

Chakotay made his way to Kathryn's quarters. He punched in the access code to her room.  
  
"Kappa alpha omega 4."  
  
The doors opened momentarily letting him through. Chakotay dropped his PADD down on her sofa and searched her quarters for her. He walked into her bedroom finding a newly replicated uniform on her bed. She was probably taking a bath, he remembered that she said they were soothing for her, but he would easily settle for a shower. He headed for the bathroom door.  
  
"Kathryn?" he called out.  
  
"I'll be out in a second." She seemed agitated but it was probably because he caught her at a bad time. He sighed and decided to wait it out in her living room. As he looked around he had to admit that her quarters were extremely elaborate, but they do say that one's living space reflects on their personality. Chakotay chuckled at the thought of Kathryn having to change her quarters so they would be more "appropriate" for a child. He was so wrapped up in thought that he didn't hear Kathryn walk in to the room.  
  
"What's so funny?" Chakotay jumped.  
  
"I'm sorry did I scare you?" Kathryn said it as if she amused with the fact that she did.  
  
"No, not at all."  
  
"Well" she said putting her hands on her hips.  
  
"Chak… Commander is there anything I can do for you?" Chakotay smiled even after all this time she still didn't know what to call him.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you about something … uh I can come back later if you're busy." Kathryn blushed she could tell that he was referring to her current attire.  
  
"Would you mind, I won't be but a moment."  
  
"Of course not." Kathryn nodded and headed back for her bedroom. Chakotay grinned she couldn't help but be a perfectionist.  
  
"Not like I didn't mind you in the robe." Chakotay muttered under his breath hoping she didn't hear him. Chakotay looked around the room again. What would it be like if there were three people living here. His head was filled scenes of Kathryn as a mother and a wife. Chakotay thought about it for minutes, it wasn't until the door opened and shut did he wake up from his day dream. Now that Kathryn was back he had something more important to think about, how to break it to her, the fact that the doctor told on her. Kathryn took a seat in the chair in front of him. She quickly crossed her legs and waited for Chakotay to speak.  
  
"So…" he said trying to break the silence. "Are you feeling any better?"  
  
"I'm feeling quite fine thank you. But Chakotay, I do believe you came hear to ask me something else, not to ask about my condition." Chakotay frowned.  
  
"A condition" he said franticly "What's wrong?" Kathryn rolled her eyes.  
  
"I meant how I'm feeling Chakotay." Chakotay frowned. He'd already made a fool of himself and by the way he acted she probably already knew what he was there for. Chakotay took a few deep breaths.  
  
"How long have … have you known?" He held his breath trying not to ruin the moment. Kathryn's non-emotional face changed in to one red with anger. It was a common change with most people but not Kathryn she wasn't hotheaded like most. Kathryn rose from her seat and attempted to leave the room. Chakotay grabbed her hand pulling her back.  
  
"Kathryn wait." Kathryn pulled her hand away.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." She briskly walked towards the door.  
  
"Kathryn don't."  
  
"I said NO." Kathryn broke in to a run. Chakotay abruptly got up from his seat on the sofa and ran to the door.  
  
"KATHRYN" he yelled out the door at her but she didn't turn back around. Chakotay had a surprised look on his face he never would or expected her to do that and neither would the ensigns down the hall.  
  
"Get back to work!" he yelled at the nosey ensigns he couldn't blame them though, if he was in there position he'd do the same thing.  
  
"Yes, sir" they said in unison and the rushed in the opposite direction for which they were headed. Chakotay banged his fists on the wall.  
  
"Dammit Kathryn." He still couldn't understand why she was acting like that. If she was acting normal she'd be ecstatic, but the Kathryn he had just saw was far from it, she even seemed to be depressed. This whole emotion thing was starting to get to him, maybe he better have a talk with the Doctor again.  
  
  
  
  
  
^ ^  
  
o  
  
any good? Ah well I try. :`(  
  
I'm open to suggestions! 


	4. Sick

A/N: I wrote this chapter yesterday I just didn't have time to put it up  
  
By the way this is the longest chapter I have ever written * Sigh * aren't you proud of me! Excuse my spelling and grammar errors and Read and Review!  
  
P.S: Paramount rules!  
  
  
  
Kathryn rubbed her head. She was feeling awful. She had been hiding in the Jeffries tubes for hours. Most of the time she spent there, she was crying. She couldn't understand what had come over her. It had been happening excessively the whole day. She just burst out in anger. The part that really got her was the way that she treated Chakotay. He asked her a simple question and instead of answering it, she ran away. She didn't know what to think she hadn't been feeling right the whole day. She felt so confused, almost like a lost child. She feared that she wasn't the only one that had lost her way. The baby she was going to have had obviously lost it's way because she didn't think she could be anything close to what ever a parent on a planet could be, and that was for starters. She sighed. A child, she couldn't say she was thrilled. She had always wanted one but not in these conditions. Although she had to say there was no person she'd rather have one with than Chakotay. She clutched her stomach, she felt like she was going to throw up. And eventually she did. She gripped the floor for support. She went to hit her combadge but she realized it wasn't there. She must have forgotten to put it on her uniform. She threw her head forward and continued to throw up. When she finally reached a window of clarity, she propped her head up against the wall of the tube. She leaned her head back. She could tell by the way she was feeling that she wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. She wiped her mouth with the corner of her sleeve. He breaths then slowed and she relaxed. She started to quiver she had the weirdest feeling. All of the sudden she passed out  
  
Chakotay had been looking for her for hours when he finally found her. He crawled in to the Jeffries tube.  
  
"Kathryn." He called out. He heard no response but heard slow but steady breathing. Chakotay crawled as fast as he could to the end of the Jeffries tube. There he saw Kathryn passed out and laid out on the ground. He carefully dragged her out of the first tube to make sure he didn't wake her. When he was out, he looked at the number on the door. He was much to far away from sickbay to get her in and out of the Jeffries tubes. Chakotay slipped his hands under her body and lifted her. He had to take her somewhere. He watched her face. This way the Kathryn he had been missing the past two days. Chakotay got greedy. He wanted to watch her sleep uninterrupted by the doctor or the crew. He just wanted to watch her sleep. He slowly let her down from his arms. There he took a seat from her and watched her. He watched her breathe and enjoyed it. It was the only peace he could probably find on the ship at the moment. Life was always hectic on a regular day on Voyager but somehow this made it all worthwhile. Life always made sense when he was with her. Kathryn's eyes flickered open. Chakotay could tell by the looks of it that she probably wasn't fully conscious.  
  
"Chakotay," she whispered  
  
"Yes Kathryn," Chakotay whispered back.  
  
"I'm sorry" His face softened. He grasped her hand  
  
"I know" He said, "I know" she shook her head  
  
"No, no you can't. I don't even understand." Chakotay winced as he saw the emotional distress on her face.  
  
"I haven't been my self and I just don't know why." Chakotay stroked her face and started to shush her.  
  
"Shh…it's okay."  
  
"Will you forgive me?" her eyelids started to droop.  
  
"Of course." He laughed  
  
"Kathryn, do you even know how much I love you?" her body shifted.  
  
"For always." She mumbled. He smiled, they said people were most truthful in their sleep and he was beginning to believe it.  
  
"Kathryn do you love me."  
  
"Always" she mumbled again "Always" Chakotay's eyes filled with tears and he watched her eyes close. He had heard what he had been waiting to hear for years. He had never truly heard her say the words. He reached in his pocket and pulled something out. He then took her hand.  
  
"I was saving this for later, but I thought that maybe now would be efficient. That's why I got so scared about you being on the away mission. I hadn't even given you the ring yet." Chakotay took deep breaths while he tried to organize his words.  
  
"And you were right you're the best you can be and that's more than enough." He slid the ring up her finger.  
  
"And there's no one else I'd rather be with than you." Chakotay cleared his throat he had to be ready for the moment that the rest of his future would depend on.  
  
"Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway, will you marry me?" Kathryn's eyes opened partially and she crawled in to Chakotay's lap. She looked up at him.  
  
"Yes." She said  
  
"I will." She then slung her arm over his shoulder and rested her head in the nape of his neck. Her eyes closed and she fell asleep. And for the first time in several years, Chakotay let his tears drop. Chakotay rubbed his eyes. It was along day and he was off anyway. What would it hurt to say in the tubes a little longer? Chakotay rested his head on hers and drifted off.  
  
That night Chakotay heard someone screaming.  
  
"Help me." The phrase was repeated over again. Each time it was said the screams got increasingly desperate. The same person started screaming in pain.  
  
"NO." He flinched and shut his eyes tight. It reminded him of his father. Maybe it was just another nightmare. It wasn't his mother it couldn't be.  
  
"Chakotay help me." When he heard this he rapidly opened his eyes. He recognized this voice, it was Kathryn who was screaming. He had awoken in a very different room. There were people all around him he was in side of some sickbay but not the one on their own ship. His head was swarming, it took him awhile to get organized. He focused his attention on the bio-bed next to them. There he saw aliens very similar to them only they had one ridge on their arm, like an extra bone. He shivered; they were the same aliens from the away mission. They referred to themselves as Jerocken or something, he couldn't remember.  
  
"Doctor Zath, it seems that our second patient has awakened." The Man walked over to him. He seemed middle aged maybe and very intelligent, he just had the vibe.  
  
"Ah was it our other patients yells that woke you." Chakotay sat up.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"I'll take that as a yes." Chakotay heard some one yell. It was one of the many guards holding Kathryn down. The sound of his cursing was replaced by a slap. Zath turned his head.  
  
"Dirat I told you to subdue our female patient not injure her!" Chakotay could tell by the look on his face that Zath was just as angry as he was. The guard bowed.  
  
"Dirat, explain yourself."  
  
"I'm sorry sire … she bit me." Chakotay grinned Kathryn really was over there. Before Chakotay could comment on that a loud beeping noise came form a console. Then Kathryn started to shake violently.  
  
"Sire her body is rejecting the matter it seems that something has disrupted it."  
  
"The less emotional the person is the easier the transformation correct Dirat?"  
  
"Yes sire."  
  
"You told me that this patient only experienced the emotions we were aiming for."  
  
"Yes sire only anger sire."  
  
"Then why is my PATIENT DIRAT not excepting the injections?" The Doctor scanned Kathryn with something that he didn't recognize. The doctor started to laugh.  
  
"Dirat, two life forms! Isn't this wonderful, twice as much fun for the whole family." Both men started to laugh. Chakotay felt sick to his stomach. He didn't like were this conversation was going. The doctor leaned right over Kathryn. Chakotay got the urge to stop him but he stayed stationary.  
  
"Twice is a charm isn't it Kathryn." Kathryn was still shaking and all Chakotay could do was watch. Chakotay screamed.  
  
"Make it stop!" The doctor shook his head.  
  
"I can't make it stop that's really up to how strong her body is, how much it can take. Last time she lasted hours and know that she's had rest she could probably last longer."  
  
Chakotay noticed what was going on. It was a sick science experiment just like the Caretaker incident. The doctor looked Chakotay straight in the eye.  
  
"You can't take the screaming can you? It makes you uneasy doesn't it? Not many normal beings can take it, but it must be harder since she is your mate. She is isn't she?" Chakotay gulped.  
  
"… Yes." The doctor made a sarcastic face making it look like he cared. He then took something out of his pocket. This Chakotay recognized, it was a hypo spray.  
  
"Maybe this will help." The doctor put the hypo spray to Chakotay's neck and injected the fluid into him. Kathryn's screams dulled and the colors swirled, and eventually he blacked out. 


	5. Tension

A/N: This takes place a month after the last chapter. Excuse my spelling and grammar.  
  
Chakotay's step faltered a few times after he walked off the turbo lift. He could feel everyone on the Bridge stares. It had been month since he was able to return to duty. For four of the weeks he was wasn't able to speak to anyone because he was constantly being tested and scanned. After the doctor was sure that he was disease free, he was finally released from sickbay but he wasn't able to return to work until the Doctor saw to it that he was well rested. But to be honest he hadn't rested at all. All he could think about was Kathryn. She had been hit the hardest by the Jerocken's experiments. He spent most of his days by her bio-bed even when he was let out. He had spent so much time there yesterday that the doctor had him physically removed from sickbay. The doctor had expressed his sympathy for Chakotay but explained that he couldn't help if he couldn't study her without someone looking over his shoulders all the time. Chakotay sighed, he wished to visit her after his shift but the doctor had locked down sickbay and set up a temporary one in the mess hall. Tuvok opened his mouth to speak.  
  
"Welcome back Commander." Chakotay nodded back at Tuvok with a forced smile on his face. He wasn't happy to be back at least not under these circumstances. Chakotay walked up to his seat and waited as Tuvok got up from the Captains' chair and took his seat at the Tactical station. The bridge was silent. There were glances and stares and Chakotay knew why. It must of felt as if he was gone forever, a month on a starship could make all the difference, especially for one in the Delta Quadrant where battles and conflicts were an everyday thing. Chakotay was sitting there for a few minutes when he heard snickers coming from Tom's direction. After watching him and Harry for a while he got the picture. They were sending messages to each other and Chakotay decided to find out what they were saying. Chakotay got access into the message system and eventually tracked down the conversation. He laughed Tom and Harry were so juvenile. Chakotay cracked his knuckles and started to read.  
  
Tom: Hey Har look at Chakotay! He looks so unhappy maybe we should try to you know cheer him up.  
  
Harry :I don't think so Tom I mean he has the right to be left alone. What do you expect?  
  
Tom: Good ol' cautious Harry.  
  
  
  
Harry: … I'm not scared!  
  
  
  
Tom: I never said you were Harry, why do you have a guilty conscious?  
  
Harry: When do you think the Captain will gain consciousness?  
  
Tom: I don't know but I hope it will happen soon. Poor old Chakotay probably can't take it anymore.  
  
Harry: Well they are really good friends. I imagine how hard it must be.  
  
Tom: Harry, Harry, Harry, the Captain and the Commander friends? That's old news, today they're an item.  
  
Harry: Tom you shouldn't go around tell in everyone that! What if you are wrong or worse you get caught!  
  
Tom: You worry too much Har! I think I'm going to start up the betting pot. Three rations apiece are you in Harry!  
  
Harry: I don't know Tom.  
  
  
  
Tom: Well if you change your mind…the bets on how long it takes for them to get into a serious relationship. Like commitment Fiancés or something. Harry: Tom wouldn't that take a year at least if they've just gotten started.  
  
Tom: Harry this is a starship a year could be a long time what do you say?  
  
  
  
Harry: If you put me down will you leave me alone?  
  
  
  
Tom: Promise!  
  
  
  
Harry: Six months.  
  
  
  
Tom: If you say so but I go for three  
  
  
  
Chakotay had finally had enough of their conversation. Did the crew do this often? Did they really talk about them like that? Chakotay got up from the Captains' chair and walked over to Tom's station. Chakotay gave Tom a slap on the back and knelt beside him.  
  
"Co... Commander." Tom said shakily. Chakotay whispered into Tom's ear.  
  
"So how long has this bet been on?" Tom blushed Chakotay had tapped into his conversation.  
  
"A…a …a few weeks." Chakotay smiled  
  
"How many crew members are involved in this … pot?" Tom frowned.  
  
"A hundred sir." Chakotay frowned. "How many rations?" Tom looked up relieved. Maybe the Commander was in on it.  
  
"Three is the minimum. Altogether, I have at least 400 rations. Personally I put in ten"  
  
"Ouch" Chakotay said  
  
"What's wrong sir, is everything okay?"  
  
"Of course Lieutenant, I was just hoping that you and the other like eating in the mess hall." Tom gulped.  
  
"So … you and the Captain aren't?"  
  
"I never said that Lieutenant." Tom gave Chakotay a sly look.  
  
"If this is our punishment sir I agree, but out of curiosity since I'm guessing that you've already read the whole conversation, was I right." Chakotay frowned.  
  
"This isn't your punishment Lieutenant. And an answer to your second question, no."  
  
"I don't understand sir." Chakotay cocked his head and smiled again.  
  
"I'm sorry Lieutenant but your bet is a month to late." Tom's Jaw dropped open. Chakotay spoke again.  
  
"I'd like to see those rations on my desk at 1200 hours today. Have I made myself clear?"  
  
"Yes sir." Chakotay turned back towards his chair. Tom looked up and muttered something under his breath.  
  
"Crystal clear." Chakotay sat down with a smile on his face and decided to see what Tom wrote next.  
  
Harry: What was that all about?  
  
Tom: Nothing Harry so don't ask.  
  
With that, Tom cut the link and got back to monitoring the ship's position. Chakotay cleared off the screen of his computer. He was just about to go into the ready room when he got a message from the doctor. A bleep came from his combadge.  
  
"Commander the Captain has awoken from her coma, I would like you to come to sick bay immediately." The happy look on Chakotay's face suddenly turned to frown.  
  
"Doctor is something wrong?"  
  
"I am afraid so."  
  
"I'm on my way." Before Chakotay could speak Tuvok was out of his seat and was approaching his new seat.  
  
"Tuvok, you have the bridge." Tuvok nodded.  
  
"Aye sir." Before Tuvok finish could responding Chakotay was already on the turbo lift. 


	6. Remember

A/N: Sorry it took me so long but I had computer problems and I wasn't able to access the Internet most of this week. Please excuse my mistakes! R&R. oh and miscbills this chapter is for you.  
  
  
  
Kathryn felt like she was in a dream but it was so real, it was a memory. She could feel the cool sweat on her hot forehead. She could feel the burn in her calves as she ran away from the facilities. She could feel the heat of Chakotay beside her. She could hear the sounds of the search teams behind her. She grimaced this scene was all too familiar. It reminded her of the time she spent in the Cardassian prison with Admiral Paris. Only this time she was the superior and luckily there weren't any attack dogs. Kathryn looked at Chakotay.  
  
"Try them again." She ordered. Chakotay nodded.  
  
"Aye Ma'am." For hours they had been trying to contact the ship and it wasn't until a half hour ago did they decide to move as she called it "for better reception". For hours they had been getting the same response but this time it was different. The link wasn't perfect but they could hear Harry.  
  
"Requesting an emergency beam out." Chakotay yelled hoping his words weren't lost in the wind of his speed.  
  
"Commander?" Harry croaked. Kathryn spoke up.  
  
"Mr. Kim we haven't the time for this. Get us out of here NOW!" Chakotay looked surprised.  
  
"I couldn't have said it better myself." She was about to respond but Harry interrupted her.  
  
"I'm sorry Ma'am but you're not in range I…" Kathryn stopped him.  
  
"How much farther Harry. Please don't say kilometers or else they can have me." Chakotay laughed he loved her humor.  
  
"One ma'am, one kilometer in the direction you're heading in, I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be Mr. Kim it's not your fault, I'm just not as young as I use to be."  
  
"Kim out." Kathryn looked behind her, the teams were gone. She stopped and pulled Chakotay back.  
  
"They're gone." Chakotay looked behind them, she was right.  
  
"Well you seemed depressed about it." She shook her head.  
  
"It doesn't seem right, they shouldn't have stopped."  
  
"Come on Kathryn, let's get away while we still can." She shook her head again.  
  
"No, something isn't right." Chakotay started pulling her forward.  
  
"Come on, we have to go." At first she was reluctant but she could stand the opposite force. They started running again. Chakotay's strides were so long that she had to almost double her speed to stay beside him. She was just about to get ahead of him when she stepped in something. Kathryn let out an extremely loud scream of pain. Chakotay stopped and ran back in her direction. Chakotay's body turned cold, as hot as it was outside he felt like shivering. He couldn't replace the look of horror on his face with anything else. Kathryn's foot was caught in a trap. Like the crude ones used back on Earth centuries ago.  
  
"Kathryn…" she held up her hand up her hand to stop him.  
  
"Don't say it, it will only make things worse." He watched her eyes fill with tears, it was a natural response with painful injuries. Chakotay sat on the ground next to her. He leaned over and checked the wound. When he got his first look he shut his eyes tightly. Maybe it was too much for him to handle. The metal had cut through her skin and bone. The wound was clean meaning that it was sharp enough to go through the first moment not slowly and repetitively. He saw fragments of bone pushed through the back of her leg. Chakotay heard noises from behind him. The team was back.  
  
"Can… can you move it?"  
  
"I don't know, I'll try." She took a deep breath and tried to lift her leg. She lifted it a foot of the ground before it came crashing down with exhaustion. She hit the trap an it shoved all the way through her leg. Chakotay watched her face as the tears came down.  
  
"You'll be okay."  
  
"No, you will. I'm not going anywhere but you are."  
  
"I'm not leaving you."  
  
"Go." Chakotay shook his head.  
  
"No."  
  
"Don't make this any harder than it already is."  
  
"Look, I told you that I'm not going if said I'm not then I'm not. I'm not leaving you here for dead I swear that I won't." Tears poured down her cheeks from rage, love, and pain. She snapped and yelled at him.  
  
"Your going Commander, that's an order." Chakotay yelled back at her.  
  
"To hell with your orders, we're on my clock now." Chakotay walked a few meters away from her and started to pull at something in the ground. There was no doubt in her mind that it was a chain. The chain that connected the trap to the ground, he was going to attempt to move her. He started to talk. She could hear the movement in his voice and he was working pretty fast.  
  
"Now, I'm going to pull this chain out of the ground. When I do I'm going to pick you up and carry you to the appropriate area for transport. Any questions so far?" She didn't answer so he continued.  
  
"And you are going to go along with the plan with no contest what so ever." Kathryn's eyes widened.  
  
"Chakotay." He shook his head.  
  
"I'm going to do it."  
  
"Chakotay!" She screamed. But he paid no attention to her. It was Dirat and Zath and they were right behind him. Zath raised what looked like a knife and attempted to drive it into Chakotay's back. Before he could Kathryn picked up a large rock and hurled it at Zath. The blow from the rock knocked Zath back and cause in the knife to fly out of his hands. Kathryn out stretched her hands and even shifted her body in an attempt to catch it. She was successful but she was still in serious pain. Before she could regain her bearing, the slightly wounded Zath attempted to hit attack Chakotay. Kathryn's reflexes set in and she sent the knife hurling in his direction. The knife landed right in his heart. Kathryn made a guess on the fact that they were unbelievably similar to humans that his heart was were hers was, and she was right. For some reason the knife's path was direct and straight. There was no way that could of happened like it did, but it happened anyway. Finally Chakotay had gotten up and moved away. Kathryn watched Zath. Blood was flowing out of his mouth. She watched as his cold eyes fixated on his servant.  
  
"It has worked, now I live in peace." Both Kathryn and Chakotay looked confused. None of this was adding up. Kathryn was lost in thought until a loud call scared her.  
  
"MASTER!" Dirat screamed. Obviously Zath had died. The call had caused Kathryn to jump back and again the trap took the shock of her movement. When Chakotay had seen what happened he ran toward her. Kathryn was too preoccupied with her wound to notice Dirat. Dirat raised the rock that Kathryn had thrown earlier and lunged it at her. Chakotay screamed out but it was to late. Dirat had hit her right in the head. He ran over to her and shook her body. She was unresponsive, she was unconscious. Chakotay turned and looked at Dirat with an evil look on his face.  
  
"You're going to pay for that." He said. Dirat quickly rolled something on the ground.  
  
"Not today." Dirat answered. He covered his nose and mouth with a mask and ran away. Chakotay attempted to stand but he couldn't. He was paralyzed. It must have been some sort of poisonous gas he thought. But before long he felt it all to hard to think let alone breathe. 


	7. Mind Games

A/N: She's finally got it, the window in to Kathryn's own brain is opened by the doctor. Dum dum dum.  
  
  
  
"Captain I implore you to put down the chair." The doctor was drastically in need of help. The Captain had recently woken up and in a rage. In the past half hour she had made five various threats on his program and two on destroying the sickbay. He was beginning to think that maybe there was something wrong. A few minutes ago he had asked the Commander to join him, he wished that he would move a little quicker. She had demanded to see him. It seemed that her memory must have been damaged by her injuries because she couldn't seem to understand that he was just trying to help her. But with her current energy level and abundance of strength she probably didn't need any help at all. Kathryn paced around the doctor.  
  
"How do I know that you're the Doctor, not just some run off hologram used by my captors?" The Doctor thought it was all to fake. It sounded like one of the famous Dr.Crusher's plays. It was believable but fake. Only this time in an ironic sense it was the other way around, unbelievable but real. The doctor pondered her question  
  
'How could he prove that he was who he claimed to be?' He thought about what made him unique compared to other holograms. Well for one there were his artistic abilities, he was a master chef, and … well hell there was nothing the doctor couldn't do or just about nothing and those were the things he wished to do, be human. But there was something he was forgetting, something important.  
  
"My mobile emitter." The doctor said to himself.  
  
"My mobile emitter!" he yelled out. Kathryn's guard dropped and her arms slowly lowered the chair.  
  
"Mobile emitter, you should be the only hologram with a mobile emitter." The doctor nodded. He raised his shoulder took his other hand and tapped it assuring her that it was real. The doctor slowly approached her.  
  
"It's me Captain." He said lightly trying not to alarm her. He was about to lay a hand on her shoulder when she counteracted the movement. She raised the chair and forced him back.  
  
"I never said you could touch me." The way she said it made the doctor cringe. Her eyes were blood shot and her skin bluish. She looked evil. The doctor thought quickly, he had to convince her totally that he was the doctor and at the same time make her lower the chair.  
  
"Kathryn?" he said.  
  
"What if we played a game?" Her eyes gave the stare, what did Chakotay call it the death stare?  
  
"If you really did know me you would know that I hate games and surprises." He had forgotten that she was a premeditated actions kind of person.  
  
"But you love trying new things." The Doctor grinned knowing that he had said the right thing.  
  
"Go on you've got my attention." The doctor kept his eye contact.  
  
" I'll answer any question that you have about anything I might know and as I answer you questions wrong little by little you can step towards the door letting you free."  
  
"You've seem to forgotten something doctor."  
  
"Oh yes of course the deal is as I get them right you'll eventually lower the chair and let me approach you concluding in the fact that I can examine you more closely."  
  
"Alright doctor we'll try it your way."  
  
"Waiting on you." The doctor gave his signal for her start of the game.  
  
"Family." It was terse but understandable. The doctor accessed his memory bank and pulled up the information.  
  
"Mother Gretchen and sister Phoebe." Kathryn dropped the chair an inch and let the doctor take is deserved step.  
  
"Prior career plans."  
  
"Starfleet was in your blood, always." Again they repeated the process. She asked him many questions and without fail he answered them all correctly. The questions he asked him were easily obtainable through downloading information off of the ship. So she decided to take another approach. Something personal.  
  
"Chakotay." The doctor looked stunned. This was evidently going to be a hard question to answer seeing that she would never admit to her feelings even if they were medically obvious. He narrowed his eyes hoping to answer this question while knocking some sense and information in to her.  
  
"You eat breathe sleep Chakotay and you'd never publicly admit it and your fear as of now is that everyone will have to find out in circumstance to your current condition." He pointed at her stomach.  
  
"But the thing is Kathryn, everyone already knows that you're in love with him they've known for years and somewhere in the back of your head you've known they know and that's what scares you even more the fact that they know. Because you associate love with weakness and you have your reasons to but it's not true. And everyone knows that you can't consider a Captain weak. The fear is that your crew will consider you weak, and for a reason that you consider love frivolous. Your greatest fear is that of being considered weak. So you carry the world on your shoulders and you'd rather let it drop before you ask for help. You think that others can't tell but we can. You think that you don't cry out for help and to be honest its true but we all know that you need it."  
  
Kathryn slowly backed her self on to the bio-bed. Not only had he won but he had also exposed her weak spot. The words he spoke scared her, even her own thoughts scared her. She sat down so she wouldn't lose her balance, so she could keep what little of her barring she had left. She wished that he was done but she knew that he wasn't.  
  
"And when we offer our support you push us away a send us back to square one. You don't know why you do it but I can tell you why. Emotional attachment." Her eyes widened.  
  
"I never attach myself emotionally." She quickly replied. The doctor snorted.  
  
"Bull, you avoid it because your attachments run deep and every person you have ever been connected with like that has been taken away from you. And it takes you a longer time to heal compared to others. Your emotional wounds run deep and your afraid of being rejected because that's worse than losing someone, knowing that they don't care." Tears dropped from her eyes.  
  
"Stop" she whispered. But the doctor continued.  
  
"See that's something else that I've forgotten," Kathryn called out again louder  
  
"Stop" The doctor shook his head he couldn't and wouldn't stop now.  
  
"You're a runner. You run away from your problems. Right now the main thought going through your head is the fact that you want to leave." She yelled out.  
  
"Stop." She desperately needed him to stop because his words hurt. His words were sharp and painful. She placed her hands over her ears and rocked her self gently.  
  
"Run Kathryn all you do is run." This time she yelled so loud that he thought the walls would cave in  
  
"STOP IT! I said stop it." She slid off the bed on to the floor and her injured leg buckled under the weight of her body.  
  
"Please." She whispered.  
  
"Please." She repeated softer. The doctor's words broke her mind into remission. Her body slowly shut down.  
  
Please excuse this if you don't believe in god, its just something automatic that Americans do  
  
"Oh My God, Kathryn." It was Chakotay. He walked in and saw he collapsed on the floor. He saw her shivering body and he didn't know what to think. He ran to her aid.  
  
"What happened doctor?" The doctor didn't now what to say because her appearance had already won him over there was no changing his mind.  
  
"We were having a conversation."  
  
"What did you say to her that did this and why aren't you helping her. She needs medical attention." The doctor shrugged and walked over to his desk for a medical tricorder.  
  
"Put her on a bio-bed." The doctor sounded insensitive and even for him it was over the top. The doctor had reasons though. He knew that Kathryn was different. She was evil. But he couldn't express his feelings to the rest of the crew or else he'd be shunned, especially to the Commander, who Kathryn was possible of playing. For instance she wasn't even awake and she already had him in the palm of her hand. The doctor was going to have to keep it to himself for a while until she finally exposed. 


End file.
